Stuff That Scares Me: The Ice-Cream Van!

It's almost funny sometimes when I think of things that scare me but really shouldn't.

Take the ice-cream van for example: the first time I heard it I wasn't sure what it was (I grew up in France) so I looked out my window and I saw it: two waves of kids first running into their houses, probably to ask for money so they could buy an ice-cream, the second wave made up of the same children spilling out of their houses and running towards the ice-cream van.

I thought it was kind of cute, in an old-fashioned way at first, but then that damn ice-cream van started coming every day and there was no way I would allow my kids to go and buy an ice-cream every single day, not even if I could afford it!

From now on, when I hear the music of the ice cream van playing in my street, all I can think of is the horde of overweight children galloping towards one of their daily sugar fixes and inevitably succombing to heart disease.

Don't get me wrong: I think an ice-cream treat is fine from time to time, just no every single day; I love ice-cream too (mmm, yummy mint ice-cream with chocolate chips!). Anyway, would those kids ask for ice-cream every time they passed a shop that sells ice-cream? Probably not. Do the ice-creams that come out of a musical van taste better than shop-bought ones? Probably not either. It's an evil mind that hides behind the friendly face of the ice-cream van driver our children love. Not that they intentionally set out to give our children heart disease; just like drug dealers, ice-cream van drivers can't see past money.

So maybe my irrational fear of the ice-cream van music is not so irrational after all.

Road Rage Rant: By French Woman Driver In Ireland

The joys of driving in Ireland: talk about women drivers! I don't know what it's like driving in any other country (having moved here too soon after getting my driver's licence to have had a chance of enjoying French Road Rage - even though, if I remember correctly the words of outrage uttered by my Dad while driving, it's not uneventful) but Ireland has to be the worst. Here's an outlook of what I had to endure this week, and I don't even take the car every day (imagine what it must be like to someone working in town and having to do this every day of the week!):

Monday: walked everywhere, trying to be environment-friendly, health-conscious and all that crap. It helped that we had one of the rare dry days of the year in Ireland.

Tuesday: decided to go to town (Galway to be exact, we have a brand-new motorway, it would be a shame not to use - and abuse, to see the way some people behave on it - it).

Tuesday incident no.1: asshole gets in the wrong lane at a roundabound and beeps the horn when a car rightfully gets on the roundabound, thinking the 1st guy is getting off at the next exit (like he should have been, since he chose the lane he chose, and also the fact that he "forgot" his indicator). Get a clue, jerk!

Tuesday incident no.2: Asshole behind me beeps the horn because I'm letting a car change lanes in front of me. I hope he gets wherever he's going really late
and
a) if it was work he was heading to, he got fired;
b) if he was meeting a girlfriend, he got dumped.

Everytime I get on a road with more than one lane: assholes who stay on the overtaking lane forever, even when there's nothing to overtake and don't even drive at the maximum speed limit, making it impossible to overtake them.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... Dumbasses who don't use their indicators. I can't even keep track of this in a single day, that's how often it happens.

Every day of the week: Assholes picking up their kids from school who can't be bothered to park in a space even though there are loads available, preventing me to spot my own daughter coming out of the school gates while also causing a mini-traffic-jam.

Today (Friday): Typical dumb lady in a small black car who wanted to get into the shopping centre while I was driving out. Not only she put on her indicator to turn AFTER she had started to do so, but even though I was well inside my own lane and she had lots of space to turn in, for some reason she wanted to wait till I had driven out (traffic behind her had to stop). I tried to make her understand that she had lots of space by making a sign with my hand and saying "why don't you turn in?" but she couldn't hear me. It's people like that who give women drivers a bad name.

Tomorrow: I'm getting a bumper-sticker but I have trouble deciding what it should read. Maybe:
Don't be a jerk: use your indicator!
Or:
Don't be a jerk, get in the correct lane!
No, not really. I think this one will have to do:

(WO)MAN DRIVER: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!