C'est La Vie! (That's Life)

Making strawberry jelly at 9:00am and hurrying to iron clothes while wearing a T-shirt that says C'est la vie, thinking of writing a blog post and if I'm very lucky I'll have time to vacuum the house and mop the floors before it's time to pick up my youngest daughter from school (I will have to go back later for the eldest because the school system in this country is completely out of tune with parents who want to get a job but cannot because of a stupid school schedule), that sums it all up.

This is what my life has come to, and to top it all up, the Soccer (Football?) World cup is starting today, meaning that there will be nothing decent on TV for a whole month. At least I will be able to catch up with the Graham Norton Show episodes that I have missed this season, even though I am in Ireland and cannot access the BBC iPlayer so I will have to find them on YouTube (thank you, YouTube) for my oh so necessary dose of laughter.

Even though I will be 37 this month I don't feel old (in my brain I am something like 27) except when my kids say that I am a lady, not a girl (but they also say this about their teachers, even though one of them doesn't look one day older than 18) and also when my almost 6 year-old says that my skin looks lumpy because I am a bit old (I think she was trying to be nice!)

So off I go, with my wrinkles and my lumpy skin, maybe I'll check out that Avon catalogue I've got stashed in a corner on my bedroom floor (I need some shelves in my bedroom) to see if it has any magic pore-reducing cream or foundation, but why bother? I might as well try and look my age even though I have never got around to getting the Mammy look, I am just too comfortable in my jeans and T-shirts and anyway I don't have the time or money to go shopping for a new look.

That's it for today's rant, which will probably not make sense to most of my readers (do I even have any?). I guess I'd better see to that vacuuming or else it might not get done until Monday. Cest la vie!

Eurovision Song Contest: Is Germany The Only Country That Gets It?

The Eurovision song contest was on last night. Every year, I say to myself: "No way I'm watching it!" and like every year, I end up watching bits of the Eurovision song context.

I knew Ireland did not have a chance to win: they sent a real bore of a song which, to tell the truth, I could not stand listening to until the end, and the fact that they sent a previous Eurovision winner made them look way to desperate to win the contest. No surprise that they did not win. At least they did not send a song that sounded like it had been fished out of an 80's Top of the Pop chart like Great Britain and end up last. Niamh Kavanagh may be an excellent singer, but that song would make anyone cringe!

Another country I was curious to see was France, because that is where I come from. But what was that? A song that sounded like it was written by La Compagnie Creole (don't worry if you have never heard of them, believe me, you don't want to!) and that was trying to force us to have a good time: "Allez, allez, il faut danser!" meaning: "Go on, go on, you have to dance!". Coming from the country of Jacques Brel, really, they have no excuse!
Click here for the French entry (but I wouldn't if I were you!).

Anyway, I must admit there were a few songs in there that were not too bad, and for once, it looks like the best one won, even though I am not sure about the lyrics (see Germany here). So I am sorry for those who say that the Eurovision song contest is not fair because the public just votes for their neighbour countries (by the way, you did not say that on the 5 years in the row when Ireland won), but if we keep sending out crap, we will keep getting crappy votes!

If you want my advice, here is what to do next year: get a good Irish singer (we have plenty of those), get a good song (we have excellent songwriters too, the thing is just to write a good song, just don't try and write FOR the Eurovision), get a few Irish dancers to perform, make it look a bit like Riverdance, but with only 5 dancers, since the maximum number of people on the stage is 6. If that is not a winning formula, I don't know what is!

First Day At The Beach

We have had hot weather for the last few days, at least by our standards, I know that 25 degrees celsius is a bit of a joke for most normal people out there, but we, in Ireland are all stripping off at the lightest ray of sun because we are used to getting crappy weather for most of the summer by now, so it is in our interest to make the most of the good weather when we get it.

I have always liked swimming but don't get to do it anymore because when we get anywhere near water I am just so afraid my kids might drown that I spend all the time watching them, and as I my legs were not beach-proofed (read not properly shaved enough to be fully exposed to the public), it suited me just fine to just sit and look after the kids from a distance.

We went to a lake as that was probably not very clean (even though it has got a blue flag); the place where my kids were splashing about was not deep enough to swim in so I was not too worried that they would get into trouble even though I kept telling them to stay on the less deep end. I suited me that it was not deep enough to swim because after I spotted that dog poo on the edge on the lake, I really did not want to get in there (the kids had a bath after we came home).

It was a nice way to spend the day, especially since it was a lake, there was less sand messing up everything, but now I am almost hoping for a not too good summer so that my kids do not beg me to bring them back to swim in that dog-poo infested water again.

Teaching my Kid to Ride a Bicycle

Sometimes I wish I had bought a tricycle for my eldest daughter when she was little. Her Dad did buy her a bicycle with training wheels when she was about 3 but it was a bicycle that would have suited a 5 year-old better (I must ask him if I can get it for my nearly 6 year-old).

Anyway, to get back on the subject to teaching my kid how to ride her bicycle, she has no experience of pedalling and she must learn to keep her balance on 2 wheels so it is tricky (and painful for my back too). Since I have a small yard and another younger daughter that I can't leave at home on her own, if you see a wobbly pink bicycle on a big footpath with a woman taking turns holding the seat and picking up the kid followed by a smaller kid flying in front of us on her scooter, that's us!

Yesterday we went to a sportsground nearby to have more space to practice as well as softer landings and so far so good, I managed to let her go and she didn't fall straightaway; I am also more confident in letting her go as I know the grass won't hurt her as much as a hard ground - sometimes I wonder which one of us needs training the most but that's mothers for you!

My daughter is so proud of herself when she manages to cycle for a short while on her own that she doesn't even seem to mind falling down. There has been lots of falling and laughing and her (our?) confidence is building. It should not take her too long now to learn but I am wondering what I signed up for when I let her her have a bicycle because I really don't want to see her riding on the roads yet as there are no bicycle lanes around here. Hopefully she will be happy enough staying on the footpaths around our house until she gets a little older but even then, I will be a nervous wreck when the time comes to let her go.

I thought things would get much easier after both my kids were toilet trained but it turns out it's just one thing after another and life is only getting more stressful as children grow. Sometimes I wish they could just both get back inside my tummy but that would not be very practical. Ah well, it won't be long now before they have their own lives and they throw me into an old folks home, no more worries for me then!

Gerry Ryan R.I.P., But Enough With The Tributes Programmes!

It has possibly been the biggest and saddest news in Ireland for 2010, even though this year is not over yet: Gerry Ryan, one of the most (if not THE most) famous radio broadcaster in Ireland, died at the age of 54.

I understand that all of Friday's and Saturday's radio and television programmes talked about and gave tribute to Gerry Ryan but when I switched on 2FM this morning and the radio presenter was still paying tribute to him, I said enough!

First of all, I want to say that my radio station of choice is not 2FM (which was Gerry Ryan's primary place of work) but TodayFM; I only listen to 2FM when Today FM has a sports or boring business programme on because for me, radio is about music and entertainment and I am just addicted to the two Rays (D'arcy and Foley), so I never used to listen to the Gerry Ryan show (which was on at the same time as the Ray D'Arcy Show).

So not being a fan of Gerry Ryan (I didn't say I didn't like him, I just did not know him that well) when the whole country is suddenly paying tributes to him, I suddenly feel very alone: am I the only person in Ireland who has had enough of everyone talking about him like he was their best friend even though they only knew him from a few television and radio programmes? Am I the only person around here who remembers the national uproar when he would not take a paycut? I clearly remember some people calling him a sleazebag back then but now that he is dead, suddenly he is a Saint?

As a reminder, here are a few hate links with comments of people who did not seem to have the slightest ounce of respect for the late Gerry Ryan (these do not reflect my own opinions, as I am not qualified enough to have one):
http://bocktherobber.com/2009/03/facebook-group-removed-gerry-ryan-is-a-complete-and-utter-wanker
http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/books/how-gerry-ryan-turned-into-mr-smug-1499629.html
http://twentymajor.net/2008/01/07/operation-transformation

I would like to say that I did not know the guy enough to say whether I liked him or not so don't misunderstand this post as another "I hate Gerry Ryan even though I don't even know the f***er" article, this post is just to say that 2 whole days of Gerry Ryan tributes are more than enough and it is way past time to get over this and get on with our lives!

P.S. I wonder who will replace Gerry Ryan on 2Fm though.

Oh Oh Oh, I've Bought A Bucket...

I am pretty proud of my new bucket, 2 people already asked me about it even though I don't usually speak with many people in general, but I must say that my bucket is very special indeed, it is actually an ash bucket with a lid, something I had been looking for in the shops for a long time.

You see, I have a fireplace at home, and I like to light a fire now and then, especially now that I don't really need to have the heat on in the whole house and it's nice to have a cosy night in front of the TV with a nice warm fire. My only problem, up until now, was cleaning the ashes the morning after the night before; of course it's always going to be a pain to clean the ashes but now that I've got a new metal bucket WITH A LID, I can wait until it's full before I empty the cold ashes in the bin and since there is a lid, I don't care about having ashes in my sitting room, since nobody can see them. Also having a lid on my ash bucket means that I can now walk all the way to the back kitchen (where I will pour the cold ashes in a plastic bag before heading for the wheelie bin) without fear of spilling any of these dirty ashes.

I am so proud of my new bucket that I even made up a song about it (I don't get out much): I stole the tune of I've Got a Rocket by Goldfrapp, which is a pretty catchy tune; here it goes:
Oh oh oh, I've bought a bucket,
Oh oh oh, you're going in it,
Oh oh oh, you're never coming out!

I am sorry, but I have had this tune in my head for weeks (not that I'm complaining, I like the song, I always sing it in the car, very out of tune, to annoy the kids!) and, like I said, my bucket is very special, I just couldn't help it!

When Is This Going To Stop?

I am stuck at home most days at the moment, when I am not running to the doctor's as my two daughters and me seem to be taking turns at being sick.

I guess I am lucky that I don't have an employer to answer to because, even to me, this looks suspicious: it started a few weeks ago when I had herpes in my eye; I could not do anything (I am just lucky my kids are able to operate the toaster, and very thankful to a freezer well stocked with oven chips and chicken nuggets). Then, the day after I started feeling better, No.2 had an upset stomach, so had to stay home from school (it had to be on a Monday); I think that the rest of the week was uneventful until last Thursday when No.1 and No.2 complained about their stomachs; No.1 turned out to be fine later on so she went to school on Friday but No.1 had a very bad case of diarrhea; she wasn't able to make it on time to the toilet so after having thrown one pair of knickers in the bin and washed another 2 pairs, along with 3 pairs of pyjama bottoms, I had to give her some of my sanitary towels, which I was grateful for as she is too big for nappies. On Saturday I felt lousy all day, feeling nauseous but unable to get sick: I must have caught No.2's virus (even though I had been washing my hands and disinfecting like I have never done before because I didn't want the rest of us to catch that nasty bug), fortunately I had no need for nappies but had to lie down between bursts of cleaning the house up. Then to top it all, on Saturday evening No.1 started complaining about a pain in her eye: I couldn't see anything in it so I had to call the out of hours doctor service and even though it was past the kids' bedtime and I still didn't feel too good I had to pack the kids into the car for a late appointment in a nearby town. Today No.2 is at school but No.1 had to stay home because her eye is still feeling a bit sore (the doctor gave her antibiotic eye drops) and now she is starting to complain about her stomach as well!

If I had a job, I would have had to take so many sick days that I probably would have got fired by now; my kids have been reasonably healthy up to now (they used to get medals in their old school for good attendance) but this year they just seem to be catching every bug that's going around. Luckily there isn't anything seriously wrong with them but it's just so frustrating not to be able to do the things that need to be done around the house and having all those articles I want to write piling up while I'm going to and fro the doctor's and staying home to look after sick people.

I should be visiting garden centres right now to get something to keep my neighours' dogs out of my garden and also, the kids are on their Easter holidays from Friday, so what happens if they don't both go to school for at least one day this week: what am I supposed to do about the Easter Bunny?