I'm Giving Away 10 Free Gym Memberships!

Who needs an expensive gym membership when you've got brillo pads?

Yesterday I went to an open day for a local gym and the cheapest price for a single membership was €492 (off-peak hours only). I never intended to join, I just went for the face painting and the free funny-shaped balloons they were giving away to the kids. This morning, as I was scrubbing my bathroom with brillo pads, a thought came to me: this scrubbing not only gives me a free cardio workout, but now I can also feel my arms toned and as a bonus, my bathroom is spotless!

So if anyone's interested, I'm starting a brand new cheap fitness programme in my own home: let's say €5 per hour session or a yearly membership of €200. You do the workout while I'm having a coffee, I supply the brillo pads and gloves. Sorry, no sauna/shower facilities (you don't think I'd let you dirty my bathtub after you cleaned it out, do you?), but at that price you must agree it's a steal compared to other gyms in this country!

I'm also thinking of another fitness programme on how you could use exercise bikes to supply my household's electricity supply but I haven't quite worked that bit out yet; I need to try it on the kids first.

As a special introductory offer, I'm giving away free gym memberships to the first 10 people who join! Just send an email to dodgygym@fakeemailaddress.com. In the meantime, got to clean my oven, or maybe I should wait for my first customers?