R.I.P., Our Fish Has Died.

Treasure was his name, he lived with us for 6 weeks before being found dead one Saturday morning by my daughter.

SmelloTweets and Apple Pies

I am such a big show off!

There is a delicious apple pie baking in my oven at the moment and I couldn't stop myself from opening the kitchen window so that everybody in my street gets a whiff of what's cooking in my kitchen.

If it tastes half as good as it smells, it will be the best thing I've ever eaten, nevermind the fact that I've used cheap Lidl ingredients with the apples sitting in my kitchen for about a week (well, no one, including me, seems to want to eat them and I hate the idea of throwing them out, anyway, they must be loaded with pesticides and preservatives because they are still firm and none of them has started to rot yet).

I've already tweeted about the fact that I was making an apple pie and a quiche today but if I could convey smells over twitter, I would probably tweet the smell of that apple pie because I am such a big show off (well, online anyway).

Well, time for me to check back in the kitchen, I wouldn't want to waste all that hard work by letting it burn!

Koran Burning, Are We Back in the Middle Ages?

Anyone who knows me a little will be aware of my views on religion in general: the biggest scam ever invented by man. Crap, crap and more crap!

The fact that I don't believe in God does not mean that I have dodgy morals (unlike some catholic priests and nuns who preyed on vulnerable children for decades, as we learned in the Ryan report not so long ago).

When I heard that an American pastor was calling for hundreds of copies of the Koran to be burned in a ceremony to mark the anniversary of 9/11, I was shocked and my lack of faith in any kind of religion was once again reinforced.

I can vaguely remember a history class about the books of Copernicus and other great scientists being condemned as being the works of heretics and ordered to be burned by the Church. If my memory serves me right, the Nazis did something like that too, so what do the people who want to burn the Koran think they're at? Do they think that all Muslims are terrorists? Do they wish to return in the Middle Ages?

If that guy goes ahead with burning Korans, I suggest anyone who owns a copy of the Bible burns it too, along with all the fairy tale books stories that children have believed to be true for years.

Oh, and there's no such thing as Santa or the Easter Bunny (just wanted to say that for a long time).

Thanking International Organisations in Advance

You may have heard that New Zealand has just suffered a powerful earthquake in the last few days.

This morning, I heard that the country has turned down offers of international aid; at first I was gobsmacked at these news, but after a while, I got thinking: if international agencies are willing to give a nice bunch of money at the drop of a hat, that's fine by me, if New Zealand doesn't want it, just give it to me, I'll make sure to put it to good use!

So where do I send my banking details in order to receive the money promptly?

P.S. If there are any good-looking volunteer rescue workers, I'll take one of them too please.

Shrek And I

So this is what I would look like if I was (were?) an ogre; not much difference with the real me, then.

C'est La Vie! (That's Life)

Making strawberry jelly at 9:00am and hurrying to iron clothes while wearing a T-shirt that says C'est la vie, thinking of writing a blog post and if I'm very lucky I'll have time to vacuum the house and mop the floors before it's time to pick up my youngest daughter from school (I will have to go back later for the eldest because the school system in this country is completely out of tune with parents who want to get a job but cannot because of a stupid school schedule), that sums it all up.

This is what my life has come to, and to top it all up, the Soccer (Football?) World cup is starting today, meaning that there will be nothing decent on TV for a whole month. At least I will be able to catch up with the Graham Norton Show episodes that I have missed this season, even though I am in Ireland and cannot access the BBC iPlayer so I will have to find them on YouTube (thank you, YouTube) for my oh so necessary dose of laughter.

Even though I will be 37 this month I don't feel old (in my brain I am something like 27) except when my kids say that I am a lady, not a girl (but they also say this about their teachers, even though one of them doesn't look one day older than 18) and also when my almost 6 year-old says that my skin looks lumpy because I am a bit old (I think she was trying to be nice!)

So off I go, with my wrinkles and my lumpy skin, maybe I'll check out that Avon catalogue I've got stashed in a corner on my bedroom floor (I need some shelves in my bedroom) to see if it has any magic pore-reducing cream or foundation, but why bother? I might as well try and look my age even though I have never got around to getting the Mammy look, I am just too comfortable in my jeans and T-shirts and anyway I don't have the time or money to go shopping for a new look.

That's it for today's rant, which will probably not make sense to most of my readers (do I even have any?). I guess I'd better see to that vacuuming or else it might not get done until Monday. Cest la vie!

Eurovision Song Contest: Is Germany The Only Country That Gets It?

The Eurovision song contest was on last night. Every year, I say to myself: "No way I'm watching it!" and like every year, I end up watching bits of the Eurovision song context.

I knew Ireland did not have a chance to win: they sent a real bore of a song which, to tell the truth, I could not stand listening to until the end, and the fact that they sent a previous Eurovision winner made them look way to desperate to win the contest. No surprise that they did not win. At least they did not send a song that sounded like it had been fished out of an 80's Top of the Pop chart like Great Britain and end up last. Niamh Kavanagh may be an excellent singer, but that song would make anyone cringe!

Another country I was curious to see was France, because that is where I come from. But what was that? A song that sounded like it was written by La Compagnie Creole (don't worry if you have never heard of them, believe me, you don't want to!) and that was trying to force us to have a good time: "Allez, allez, il faut danser!" meaning: "Go on, go on, you have to dance!". Coming from the country of Jacques Brel, really, they have no excuse!
Click here for the French entry (but I wouldn't if I were you!).

Anyway, I must admit there were a few songs in there that were not too bad, and for once, it looks like the best one won, even though I am not sure about the lyrics (see Germany here). So I am sorry for those who say that the Eurovision song contest is not fair because the public just votes for their neighbour countries (by the way, you did not say that on the 5 years in the row when Ireland won), but if we keep sending out crap, we will keep getting crappy votes!

If you want my advice, here is what to do next year: get a good Irish singer (we have plenty of those), get a good song (we have excellent songwriters too, the thing is just to write a good song, just don't try and write FOR the Eurovision), get a few Irish dancers to perform, make it look a bit like Riverdance, but with only 5 dancers, since the maximum number of people on the stage is 6. If that is not a winning formula, I don't know what is!